sad girl paella
notes
paella is a highly-regarded spanish rice dish. you pronounce it "pie-ay-yuh" and not "pay-ella". normally you cook it over a fire in a huge pizza-pan looking thing, but we are broke and trans, so we are going to do everything wrong and bastardize the traditional ingredients to make a one-pan meal of saffron-rice, vegetables, shrimp, and sausage. the end product should look like the 'shallow pan of food' emoji, because it is actually what that emoji depicts.
i served this at thanksgiving with mentha, sylvie, and ibis. it purportedly slapped.
ingredients
Frozen Shrimp (thawed, deveined, and shelled) :The bag at the grocery store. You know the one.
Chorizo (you can also just use a loop of smoked Kielbasa if you can't find chorizo) :4x of the little Goya guys in plastic.
Yellow Onion :½
Bell Pepper :1
Frozen Peas (or peas and carrots.) :½ cup
Garlic : 2 cloves
Paprika :1 teaspoon
Lemon :1
Olive Oil :Lots
Saffron :½ teaspoon
Chicken Stock :2 ¼ cups
Arborio Rice :1 ⅓ cups
instructions
1 . You gotta make Saffron Broth first. So chop up all your vegetables and peel your shrimp. Keep all the parts that are wonky or suck as well as your shrimp shells and a wedge from your lemon.
2 . Put your chicken stock in a pot with all your leftover bits and the saffron. Add two teaspoons of olive oil to it and salt the hell out of it. If you don't salt the hell out of it, your rice will come out bland. Boil it all and strain it.
3 . Empty your arborio rice onto an oven-safe skillet. Smoosh it all out so it is even and flat. Dump your peas over it and start arranging your sliced chorizo and onion and bell pepper and garlic and shrimp over it. You can even pop the lemons on top here if you don't want to juice them over the rice later.
4 . Pour precisely 2 cups of your saffron broth into the skillet. Drizzle with a little olive oil and your paprika.
5 . Set your oven to 425°F and slide your weird pan of waterlogged rice in to the oven. Check on it in 20 minutes.
6 . At this point, your bastardized paella should be mostly-tender. Set your rangetop to medium-low heat and finish it by cooking off the remaining liquid.
7 . You now have a big heap of chorizo, shrimp, vegetables, and saffron rice. drizzle it with a little more olive oil and paprika if you desire. If you retained your lemon slices instead of baking them, go ahead and juice them over the rice now. If you have a slight crust of crunchy rice on the bottom of your skillet you have truly handled the rice well.